Tuesday, May 05, 2015

8 Things I've Learned From Working With Old People

As you know, if you read my blog, which you actually probably don't, I like to make lists. So today's list is:

Things I've learned from working with old* people

*They're not even that old. Like, fifties and sixties (though a few are older). This includes almost every one of my coworkers from my current and most recent job, over the last two years.

  1. Old people like to rub in your status as whippersnapper. For example: "How does Superman have any privacy in a phone booth? Aren't the walls see-through? But you probably don't even remember phone booths." "Who here remembers overhead projectors?" "Does anyone else remember mimeographs? Do you know what that is, Meredith?" FYI: If it's new enough that I remember it (i.e. overhead projectors - yes, my teachers still used those when I was in high school), then you don't need to ask. If it's old enough that I don't know what it is (what in the world is a mimeograph?) then just don't bother asking. Accept the fact that I'm young and move on with your life.
  2. Young people know nothing. (See above.)
  3. Young people know everything. I don't know if it's because I'm young, or just because I'm smart, but everyone seems to think I know everything. We'll just go with smart.
  4. Young people know everything about phones, computers, gadgets, etc. Granted, I know, and can easily figure out on my own, much more than them, but I don't know everything. I know how to use my iPhone. But I don't know how to use your smart phone, or where all the features are, or how to troubleshoot it. Just like my dad knows, and can figure out, much more about car problems than me, but that doesn't mean he's a mechanic. I'm not a phone technician.
  5. My perception of time is invalid. I once used the phrase "many years" to describe something in my life, and they just laughed.
  6. I have my whole life ahead of me. Except, you know, the quarter century behind me (including the 4 years of undergrad and 3 years post-grad I've spent trying and failing to figure out what I want to/can do with my life). I know I don't have to figure out my whole life right this minute. But when you tell people, oh take your time because you have your whole life ahead of you, and then you wonder why a whole generation is like, okay I'll just keep living in my mom's basement then...are you really surprised?
  7. Young people can do anything that requires physical effort. I'm young, so I'm in shape. I told someone I couldn't run a mile. "But you're young." My back hurts. "You're too young to be aching." Oh, I also have a good memory, am capable of learning anything new, and I can do anything I put my mind to. Mostly based on the fact that I'm 24.
  8. Old people don't like being (or at least looking) old, enough that they assume I won't either. I'm 24, almost 25, and a few months ago somebody thought I was 16. That's not unusual. I think it's funny. Or weird, at least. But when I mention it to anyone more than 15 years older than me? "You'll appreciate that when you're older." First of all, I didn't say I resented it in the first place (although any male person my age is going to think I'm in high school...not going to help me get any dates). Second, do you really think no one's told me that before? Because they have. Every single time.

Basically, it seems old people spend their time wishing they were young, or wishing they looked young, all the while talking about the failings of the younger generations and telling young people all the things they don't know.

I'm not bitter, or angry. It's just things I've noticed, that are kind of starting to get annoying. And I can't talk to them about it, because, you know, I'm young. What do I know? I'll understand when I'm older.

No comments:

Post a Comment